If you were married to a police officer, it maybe shouldn’t be a surprise if she sometimes works late due to an emergency situation. It’s not like you can just bail on an active situation; calling a time out during a shoot out so that you can go home. And if you were married to a fire fighter, you probably shouldn’t be surprised if sometimes fighting fires lasted longer than the work day. It is not like a fire is going to cooperate with allotted time constraints. These things come along with the job and yes a person can use that as an excuse. And if someone is a Christian, it shouldn’t be a surprise if they are busy in Kingdom of God things. As a matter of fact it should be a surprise if they are not. And yes, some people can use this as an excuse to neglect family. Kingdom of God things call us to honor God and others; to find the balance between being busy honoring God and honoring family.
Luke 2:41-52 is not about Jesus choosing to honor God instead of Joseph. It is about honoring both his physical parents and his heavenly Father. As the years passed by, we are told that the family made an annual trek to Jerusalem for Passover. Technically every male was commanded to travel to Jerusalem three times a year (Exodus 23:14-17; Deuteronomy 16:16). Mary was not commanded to make the journey. I think we are intended to see Mary, Joseph and Jesus making this an annual family event. We are told that Jesus was twelve. Some sources claim this was the age of becoming a son of the law. Others claim the age was thirteen, as it is today. We do have rabbinical sources that state that at twelve, much more was beginning to be expected of the male child: his vows were now considered binding; he could be required to fast a whole day; and his punishment could be more severe. The point of our passage is that Jesus was transitioning into adulthood.
His family most likely stayed the whole eight days of the Feast of Unleavened Bread and Passover. These two feasts were often combined into the term Passover. They had traveled with a group. This does not have to be limited to Nazareth. There may have been a rather large caravan from surrounding villages. This helps to explain why Jesus’ parents traveled a whole day before realizing that he was not with them. There would have been no cause to worry. Surely he was with a relative or friend. It wasn’t until they stopped for the evening that Joseph and Mary realized he wasn’t with them. It is important to let the humanity of Mary and Joseph to leap out of the story. Their twelve year old boy was not with the caravan. They had already traveled a day out of Jerusalem. It wasn’t until three days later that they were able to find him. And what state of mind would you be in after three days of frantic searching for your child?
And when they find him, he is sitting calmly in the temple listening to the teachers; asking insightful questions. Everyone present was amazed at this precocious pre-teen. The listening and asking questions was the normal way for Jewish young men to learn. Nothing out of the ordinary there. It must have been his questions that tipped everyone off that this young man was exceptional. When we are told that Mary and Joseph were astonished, the word used could mean “stricken out of one’s senses.” Think of the word applying to parents who have been desperately searching for their lost child. It is not amazement at his understanding. It is panic induced being beside themselves with worry.
Some find it amazing that Mary does the talking. Culturally speaking this is out of the ordinary. But as a mother frazzled with worry Mary doesn’t care about societal propriety. Her question “why have you treated us this way?” is used in the Old Testament as an accusation and that always of deception. At the very least she is accusing Jesus of abandoning his responsibility as her and Joseph’s son. His response probably should not be read as a rebuke. It is genuine surprise. How could they not know that he had to be in the things of his Father? This vague statement has generated a lot of discussion. Most likely it is referring to being in the Temple or house of his Father. They should have known that his relationship with God would drive him to be about Kingdom of God business. They should have known that if he wasn’t in the house of Joseph, he could be found in the house of God. Amazingly, he returns to Nazareth and places himself under the authority of his earthly parents. And if Jesus, God incarnate, submitted, maybe we should not resist the concept so adamantly. This is not about Jesus rejecting Joseph’s authority. This is about Jesus exercising balance between honoring God and honoring his parents. May you find the same balance.